Guest blog: DIY and the dangers of a large drinks collection

Whether it is the result of poor hand-eye coordination, impatience, or something else it is not clear; but I am shockingly bad at DIY. Were it not for the skills of Mrs Thecocktailgeek, my humble abode would be a whole lot more humble, and certainly a lot wonkier.  It matters not whether the task is as simple as hanging a picture frame, try as I might it just doesn’t happen.  I gave up a long time ago worrying about my inadequacies in this most basic of expectations of a man, and instead pride myself on the ability to delegate at the first sign of a job needing doing.

When a new washing machine was recently required, there was no doubt that the additional fee to have the nice delivery men hook it up for me was money worth spending.  Two very manly looking chaps arrived on time, had the good courtesy to remove their dirty work boots upon entering, thanked me for holding the door open, and casually remarked that I must have a drinking problem before commencing the installation.

 

“You must have a drinking problem”  Delivery man

Such was the brazenly casual air of the allegation, it took a moment to register and any opportunity for a witty retort was lost.  The catalyst for such a remark was undoubtedly my booze collection, which numbers well into three figures and sits proudly on the wall adjacent to my laundering facilities.

array of fine liquor

At first I assumed the comment was intended as a compliment for such a delightful array of fine liquor.  Alas I was mistaken and further questioning revealed the maker of the allegation was not skilled in the art of sarcasm, he genuinely believed that possessing a decently sized spirits collection must be evidence of some form of addiction.  Now, there is no doubt that I like a drink, but a problem it is not.  What is clear however is that I am unusual in my possession of multiple bottles of spirits.  A straw poll of some friends revealed that any stocks greater than two whole bottles of spirit would be considered an oversupply and cause for a party for most ‘normal’ people.  Yet these same friends admit to owning well-stocked fridges, freezers and store cupboards that are full of food; the upshot being that whilst they enjoy a varied diet of solid foodstuffs, their imbibing is limited to a handful of options.

I will accept that I am the anomaly in this situation, but I am perplexed as to why so.  It seems nonsensical that one might enjoy a diet based on a broad range of cuisines and flavours, yet be so restricted in drinking habits.  Cocktails might be enjoying a renaissance in some respects, but there is a way to go yet before it is common practice to have a varied spirit supply at home.  This is a huge shame and, given the increasing availability of high quality spirits, totally unnecessary.  I don’t profess to know the cause of meagre home-bar supplies but I do know the solution; don’t delegate all your cocktail making to bartenders, pick up some booze, find a recipe, and do it yourself!